In The California Club, in Eston I find a drunk man slumped over the bar. He keeps repeating "what's the use, what's the use?" I ask him what he means. He's just done some kareoke number and they've had a line dancing special. He's white as a sheet and tears are streaming down his face.
I ask him again what he means and he says "What's the you-see, What's the you-see?" and I ask him what he means.
He says "What's the ewe-sea? you must have heard of the ewe-sea?" I say it sounds very beautiful but I have no idea where the "ewe-sea" is... Ewe as in sheep? or you as in me?
It turns out he is trying to say an acronym - "What is the U.C.E.?" and he eventually enlightens me by grabbing my lapels and shaking me saying "The U.C.E. - The Uncommon Compassionate Event Goddammit!" and he sounds like he has a bad American accent.
He says it was prophesised to us, promised unto us. Nothing grand, just a day when someone does something really nice and kind.
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